


War From Another World

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 07:57:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17117468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Tonight, on Corporate Radio, a spooky tale of creatures of unknown origin appearing. But, it's all just a radio play, right?(Based heavily on War of the Worlds.)





	War From Another World

**Listen**  


[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]

TROLL ORSONN WELLES: Ever since the dawn of our civilisation, our people have hypothesised beings that watch closely over this world, beings of unimaginable intellect and power, and yet still powerless in the face of each other. While we toil away on a planet, making an honest loop, we are examined, judged, scrutinised, perhaps as researchers may busy themselves with their craft, hoping to find the answers they desperately seek in the creatures of this world. In what only can be described as a supreme naivety, we absent-mindedly continue our pursuits, placated by the belief that we are the highest beings, the top of the chain, and we hold supreme dominion over this vast, diverse land, adorned amongst celestial bodies held twixt the tapestry of the heavens. Yet beyond that static curtain, manifestations that to us are as incomprehensible as our civility is to the lowest creatures of the soil regard our Repiton with great promise and great disdain, and slowly design their own machinations against our world. In the 18th sweep of the 12th centanalia, came a supreme depression. More people were facing their finality. Corporate was crumbling beneath its own lofty ambition. In the evening of this night of promise, the Darled station was believed to have drawn an impressive 39 million people, who were tuned in to their broadcast...

ILLAIS DARLED: ...low chance of breeze, cloudless skies, really just a beautiful day in Repiton. The moons are maintaining a good orbital obliquity, so if you want to catch up with that someone special, it looks like tonight will be a great night on the beaches. This weather report comes to you as always from Upper Corporate Management. Corporate Repiton - For Good... Alternatively, tonight, why not enjoy the delightful sounds of Ramona Raquel and her Berry Big Band, coming to you live and direct from Corporate Ballroom 9 in Corporate Social Construct 19287BB!

[CHEAP (BOXED WINE) by pragmaticNihilist]

ILLAIS DARLED: My dear audience, we must regrettably interrupt this performance of Ramona Raquel and her Berry Big Band to bring you an urgent news bulletin. There are scattered reports coming in from some areas beyond the corporate boundary that strange shadowy beings are roaming the landscape. These creatures are from an unknown origin with an unknown purpose, and witness reports describe that they are large and seemingly hostile. We have it on good authority that you should not, under any circumstances, approach these creatures... We are currently trying to arrange an interview with Occeus Coliad, a researcher known to some for his expertise in matters concerning the zoologically dubious. For now, we urge you to exercise caution, stay indoors, and listen as we return you to the sublime musical stylings of Ramona Raquel and her Berry Big Band, playing from Corporate Ballroon 9 in Corporate Social Construct 19287BB...

[BELLADONNA, by Veritas Unae]

[The audience applauds.]

RAMONA RAQUEL: Oh thank you, thank you dears, you're far too kind. This next song I like to call "Cultista de La Sala", and it goes a little something.... like this.

[CULTISTA DE LA SALA, by Veritas Unae]

ILLAIS DARLED: Dear listeners, we will hopefully be back to Ramona Raquel and her Berry Big Band, performing live from Corporate Ballroom 9 in Corporate Social Construct 19287BB, but we have some more pressing news. Continuing on from our previous bulletin, delivered naught a scant few moments ago, we have received a statement from Occeus Coliad. For those just joining us, there have been several reports of beings of darkness roaming the forests on the outskirts beyond the corporate boundaries. Although the researcher himself is preoccupied with many other experiments on this day, Coliad was able to briefly communicate that he "quote" believes that these creatures may have a connection to an alternate plane of existence, an interdimensional plane tangential to our own "endquote". While I may not understand the true extent or implication of this statement, it is certainly something I believe is a cause for concern. We are currently arranging one of our top field reporters, Hokoku Genkou, who has previously reported on matters such as the Corporate Reinvigoration Strategy for Regional Development and the Great "Rampart Circuit" Crash of 12'09. While we wait, we have a word from one of our sponsors.

[BACKGROUND MUSIC - COMMERCIAL BREAK by Splitsuns]

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ILLAIS DARLED: ... I think... I think we have a connection, Hokoku, are you there?

HOKOKU GENKOU: Yes, Illias, I'm here, am I coming through alright?

ILLAIS DARLED: Perfectly clear, Hokoku. Are you currently on the scene?

HOKOKU GENKOU: Quite so, Illias. This is Hokoku Genkou, from Darled Communications and Radio Services, broadcasting live from the outskirts of Corporate Stronghold 250893S, about a good twelve miles into the woods here. The forestry is dense, with several tall flora about me. It's somewhat dark this far away from the corporate boundary, but I can clearly make out a few of the regular sort of creatures you might find out and about here. This is somewhat close to the first account we heard of these strange spectral creatures lurking about, but so far I've yet to see anything remotely approaching the descriptions given.

ILLAIS DARLED: From your perspective, Hokoku, how... just how likely is it that this was just someone seeing a creature in the cover of night?

HOKOKU GENKOU: I'd say there's a very real chance, Illais. While the troll we heard from mentioned very prominent glowing eyes, it's entirely possible such an effect was due to a flashlight illuminating the brights of the creature's eyes. And, having been spooked by such a startling sight, the troll instantly turned and... Wait, one moment, I hear something happening, just a moment there, Illais... There seems to be a soft sound of the underbrush, as if several footsteps were approaching this location. It is... a bit difficult to discern their origin but- wh-what is that?

ILLAIS DARLED: Hokoku? Do you see the creature?

HOKOKU GENKOU: Quickly, grab that, we gotta go... Illais, this is something else, a strange, large shadow, and the eyes... Those eyes, that you almost... can't look... awa- [There is a screeching sound before the signal cuts out.]

ILLAIS DARLED: Hokoku? Hokoku, are you there?... It seems that we have... lost connection with Hokoku's team. We will try and resume contact with Hokoku as soon as we are able. For now, we will take a brief intermission. We present for your pleasure a small piano interlude in the meantime.

[NOSTALGIA, by Rachel Rose Mitchell]

ILLAIS DARLED: I would like to thank you again, dear listeners, for staying tuned through these... some may say worrying times. Here at Darled Communications we always want to stay at the foreground of breaking news and information. We have recently received a telegram from Corporate, with the hopes that we may be able to reach out to you all at home, our dear viewers. Quote: "At this time, due to the growing numbers of possibly hostile interdimensional beings in the outskirts of the Corporate Boundaries, we urge all members of society to remain indoors, possibly in safe houses or fortified areas if at all possible. We are looking to our options at this point in time. Remember: Corporate is here for you." End quote. I would like to echo my sentiments on this point, and appreciate those in the upper management releasing a statement such as this... Viewers, in times like this, we must band together, and look out for one another. While our time tonight on Evenings with Illais Darled may be coming to a close, know that even in our darkest times, we will always have a home here with Corporate. I pass now to the Late Night broadcast team and Nosson Darled to continue updating you on developments relating to this growing situation. Good night, good day, for good.

TROLL ORSONN WELLES: What you have just listened to is an adaptation of a work recently uncovered from ancient historical texts, dramatised and modernised for your listening pleasure, succinctly titled "War From Another World". We apologise if this may have, in any way, frightened or alarmed you. Hopefully, it is relieving to note that the world as we know it is not plagued by strange spectral forms from interdimensional planes beyond our comprehension. Do not attempt to adjust the radio set. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical too. Thank you, and once again, as Illais so aptly said - good night, good day, for good.

[END TRANSMISSION]

**Author's Note:**

> GLOSSARY:  
> "centenalia" - a made up term for a 'Repitonian century'  
> "loops" - the official name for Repitonian currency  
> "Rampart Circuit" - a made up term for a Repitonian equivalent Wall Street  
> "wices" - the official name for a Repitonian week
> 
> Illais Darled comes from the words for voice (llais) and broadcast (darlledu) in Welsh, even though I'm butchering that double 'll' sound. Nosson, his brother, is named for the word for evening (noson). Ramona Raquel is based on "Ramon Raquello and his Orchestra" from the original "War of the Worlds" screenplay. Illais, Ramona, unnamed horrorcore monster, Aqua Globes spokesperson and Troll Orsonn Welles were all voiced by Veritas Unae.  
> Applause provided by Veritas Unae (and his mother).
> 
> Hokoku Genkou's name comes from the Japanese words for "report, current", and was voiced by Chantelle Norton.
> 
> War From Another World visuals and troll designs by Xamag (http://xamag-ve.tumblr.com/).


End file.
